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This is One Corner

June 25, 2013

This is one corner

I just love love this TED Talk.  In a world full of too much knowledge and not enough wisdom, he is a treat to hear speak.

From this talk:

“Ultimately, what is a story? It’s a contradiction. Everything is a contradiction. The universe is a contradiction. And all of us are constantly looking for harmony. When you get up, the night and day is a contradiction. You get up at 4am and that first blush of blue is where the night and day are trying to find harmony with each other. Harmony is the notes that mozart didn’t give you, but somehow the contradiction of his notes suggest the harmony. It’s the effect of looking for hamony in the contradiction that exists in a poet’s mind, the contradiction that exists in a story teller’s mind. In a story teller’s mind is the contradiction of moralities. In a poet’s mind there is a conflict of words. In the universe’s mind between day and night. In the contradiction between male and female we’re looking for harmony within each other. The whole idea of contradiction – the acceptance of contradiction – is the telling of a story. Not the resolution. The problem with storytelling in Hollywood and many films is we try to resolve the contradiction. Harmony is not resolution – harmony is a suggestion of a thing that is much larger than resolution. Harmony is a suggestion of something that is embracing and universal, and of eternity, and of the moment. Resolution is something that is far more limited. It is finite. Harmony is infinite. So in storytelling, like all other contradictions in the universe, is looking for harmony and infinity in moral resolutions – resolving one, but letting another go. Letting another go and creating a question that’s really important.”

Beautiful.

Ayla Holdom

Great article here by Ayla Holdom reflecting on ways the media needs to be more thoughtful when presenting transgender issues.  I am so pleased to see more and more articles in “mainstream” media being written BY rather than ABOUT folks who are trans.  Makes me hopeful for what is yet to come.

A great post about the harm of fat talk.:   http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/fat-talk-compels-but-carries-a-cost/?smid=pl-share

Why oh why is it considered being a good friend to put yourself down in order to help your friend feel better?  That’s like a friend saying she is thirsty so you help by pouring your glass of water on the ground.  People – we can and must do better – out of respect for ourselves and for others.

My only critique of this great post is in response to the following:

Dr. Corning said that to break the cycle, a person shouldn’t engage. But particularly for younger women, it’s hard to say something like, “Hey, no negative self-talk!” or “Why do we put ourselves down?”  Instead, for adolescents, she suggested, “Keep it light; it’s not a moment for major social activism. Teenagers can change the topic. They do it all the time.”

Yeah, it is hard.  LOTS of things about being a teenager is hard.  LOTS of things about being a grown up is hard.   Let’s respect the young women in our lives enough to help them learn effective communication skills while they are young.  It only gets harder to voice our truth as we get older if she haven’t started building the habit while we were young.

“Why do we put ourselves down?” is a great response.  Or perhaps, “I think you look freaking fabulous.  Those jeans are missing out.”   :)

 

 

I just read a beautiful post from Finding Ninee about the beauty that comes from seeing things as they are rather than letting our expectations and desires filtering us to only see what is not.  To pick out any excerpt would deprive you of enjoying the whole thing.

Click here to read the full post. 

Hong Kong Court Allows Trans Woman to Marry

Woop woop!

 

 

 

I'm not sure I understand Facebook

 

After much heel dragging, I have finally started a facebook page.  Woohoo!  (Okay, actually the feeling for me is more like “Gulp!”)

The page is Frances Ulman PhD.  Still working on how I will balance content between my blog and the FB page.  Meanwhile, please enjoy this picture above that shows my level of Facebook literacy.  I hope I don’t break Facebook while learning my way around it.    :)

Yep

April 19, 2013

what screws us up

Funny-eCard-A-bunch-of-my-friends-are-coming-over-to-play-on-their-phones

Only Connect!

EF Forster famously wrote “Only connect!” in his 1910 Novel Howards End to mark the 100 year Pre-Anniversary of a time when we could be digitally connected with our iThingy at all times, day and night, alone or with others, on the subway or while at dinner with friends.  Sure, at the time his prose were interpreted as a call to connect with others, and connection with others was the only reason to get up in the morning.  But we know better, don’t we?

“Friends don’t let friends lose their capacity for humanity.”

Sadly, it seems being connected with our digital gadgets can have a real impact on our ability to connect with others through a withering of our capacity for empathy.  A friend passed on this interesting article about the neuroscience behind the harm we are doing to ourselves when we spend too much time plugged in, rather than being tuned into the people around us.  Worth a read!  Original article here.